Finding The Lost.

I'm neither here nor there. I'm never anywhere, will never be everywhere. Internalizing my world, expanding a collapse, sinking to the depths of being, hope to bring one. Creation is ongoing. What's being destroyed is a renewal of what has been created. I know not much of this world, and I lack understanding of my own fall. All I know is, it's the only road I am ever aware of, the easiest and most comfortable one, a path I call my own. So what's perfection then? Like it has always been, Adam & Eve, Eden. Truth, simplicity, and the idea of eternity. My parents portrayed the best marriage, almost flawless. I beg my world would come close. But that's a part of me which fell, that perfection can only happen in the older generation, which is where I'm stuck, an old mind. Fix me on my basic necessities and I'm good to go. I'm grateful being blessed to see the world at such a young age, and truly it has broaden my mind on living, but it has change nothing. If I'm truly out there, I wish I could find myself again.

Not This Time.

To grasp, to be made into one's own is a process requiring strength and passion, despite the duration. Unless one submerge wholly into all factors that may contribute to the act of acquiring, then shall the time be reduced. Simply a want isn't sufficient, a need may cause a second thought, a desire has to be constantly fed with energy that is from both mental, and physical. Rewards, as are always the sweetest taste at the end of the race. The journey isn't the focus, yet it is where life generates, where when looked back, makes up the entire feel of that predestined goal. This may all be illustrated with a two dimensional image of the caricature of a person before a hill, first knowing that the ambition of the reward manipulates the inclination of mentioned hill. As the comic proceeds, notice the little that actually persists against all obstacles, savouring the peak.

Another Icicle.

Hardly one shall be missed or understood in this whole ordeal. This is the withdrawal. The drain after the shower. The release after the capture. The giving after a taking. In the absence of an awareness as when one lives in the moment, I have left my heart unguarded. Filled with passion and love for that temporal time, I beget nothing now that all is done. Everything else shall be left unsaid. There's only so much can one give to others. Let not then I be the fool, the subject of ridicule to my own carelessness. But is this the path worth taking? Because it made me feel alive. It made me feel wanted, desired, it filled my heart with hopes. It felt so good to be loved. Especially when one loves back to perfection. What a tease life had done unto me. I thanked with such sincere gratitude not knowing the feelings I would achingly feel in this horrendous aftermath. I still have my pride of which that matters. Nevertheless, what use is of my pride now but a reminder to regrets of all that I could have achieve but which I didn't. O the sorrow. So much pleasure, so much pain.

Can The Mind Swim?

There's a hole. I fell into it. I think I might be in here for some time. Waiting to be rescued. However, no one can stay in this hole for long, because eventually everything dies. Everything rots. All shall return to the earth.

There's a spell. It upsets my mind. It made me believe I was in a hole. I still do believe. I do not know who had done it to me. Everything is in slow motion. Breathing feels a challenge I must race. I want out.

There's the world. All shall suffer. All waiting for a rescue. All in a race, challenging themselves to compete. All shall eventually die, and rot, and return to the very ground they were raised to life from. All in all, without a reason.

Down, down, down,

The Hole I fall.

Round, round, round,

My head goes in confusion.

All, all, all,

Without a reason.

"Then shall he quickly hop into the showers of knowing, and beget himself all his desires.

What shall the point be, he wondered. All shall be mine, as mine shall be all forever no more.

Slowly, he ceases to exist. His reality chucked aside, as imagination governs the new world.

In time, only body roams the earth. Mind drowned in an everlasting hole of make-beliefs."

Let me out.

Posing An Answer.

Diseases, he brought with along the many unseen particles, including doubt. As doubt stumbled into the spacious room of one's own, fear was carelessly spread, how when a bucket is emptied of its content across the porch, not meant for just one spot of dirt, but the entire to be cleaned. Fear does the opposite, it messes. Every person who comes into his world, would be uncertain of his intentions, and his credibility of being able to trust. Thus as with all others, not knowing him, the circumstance of not knowing enough, causes that very well known fear. He isn't to be blamed, no one is matter in fact. For fingers to be pointed at the people who raised him would be inaccurate, although not entirely wrong. The agreement should be based on both nature, and nurture, not against these two factors.

There is no subtlety. Just a rush to dispose all that is known. It is inaccurate, although not entirely wrong.

I. What do I want? I. Who do I want to be? I. How do I perceive myself in the very best way?

An Expression, Merely.

Where have you been?

Why do you ask?

Because comfort was mine from your absence.

Thus, the answer.

I do not understand why.

Because you live.

You really must, don't you?

The wind has not a character, I have not, my will.

As such a circle life is, that everything in it must play a role, and that role is set to a rhythm.

As clockwise, shape conscious.

Precisely.

But if I accept you, love you... peace be with me.

But?

A restless bargain for with peace, comes the perfect sight, losing judgement, accepting all.

There isn't much fun in that. What's life without the fear of Death? Courage in abundance, wrecking all, experiencing all, greedy with joy, and generous with envy.

All or nothing. Anything else comes regret, and confusion on the discussion of 'balance'.

Meskipun wajahMu dicari, namun tetap cuma yang telah meninggal akan dipenuhi jawapan buat segalanya, kerana mereka akhirnya bersamaMu.

Isn't it strange how a choice determines everything.

It is no stranger then the idea to keep one's mind. 

A Light.

Center point is focused on, clearing the clatters of the mind. Composing a new system altogether in the cores of all thoughts. Ridding the chaos, the calamities of the uncontrolled mind, the lack of progress. Such a life that we need absolute joy, bidding so much pain goodbye. Refusal is key. Refusal of decisions that brings harm, choices that clashes with inner peace, influence of emotions, they shall all be refused. Accept the good traits of one's own, polish them, make them able to reflect the brilliance of light from the Almighty. In such a dark world, many shall come to light should they desire goodness and truth, and beings becoming beacons of affection and justice shall rule the corrupt.