Unguided Path.

I am crying for help with the same enthusiasm of how one would when thrown off a cliff. This is too difficult to bear. I need to escape this hell. I can go neither left nor right and I despise the forward road. The three of us were going through photos dated nearly a decade ago and that immediate marble choked my throat. Everything seems so perfect and the beauty was glamor in splendor undefined. So what if we had to eat food worth less than two dollars each day. So what if the clothes on our back were to be used till they're torn. The fact is, we were happy. We were happy not knowing a pampered life. Looking back now, I can cry forever more because such a perfect moment will have no pity to be relived. How low must I humbly bow to God to request another chance to be happy with my family? I am stuck in the past as they would say. My heart distracted and left behind the timeline of life. Mercy me. Foolishly, I believed that depression shall not persuade it's survivors. It's coming back to me again, strolling with light feet satisfied to know I am helpless. Death seems like an offer now which delights my Life. Nothing else worth not to be lived for. To whom should I turn to? My drug now shall be Cathay. A temporary effect of excitement before square one is taken place again.